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Let’s all take a moment to point and laugh at BYU students trying to force a local Gold’s Gym to stop running “pornographic” movies on their TVs and to install blinds on windows into the aerobics room, where the dancing is “very provocative”.

They use the term “pornographic” when describing what actually seems to be normal broadcast television, culled onto a private network that Gold’s Gym uses nationally to distribute uniform content to all of its clubs. Those of you eager to find a local Gold’s in the hopes of signing up so you can lift weights while watching Debbie Does the Dallas Cowboys’ Cheerleaders should snag a cold shower, because that’s not what’s going on at all.

I’m particularly amused by the notion that aerobic dancing is so very provocative that thousands of people are petitioning to have it hidden away behind closed doors & blinds. Those random chicks and dudes bouncing around in stretchy, skin-tight spandex, kicking their legs out (spreading them over and over again), hopping up and down to the beat of some random tune, sending bits of them wobbling about as they move, must be so very irresistible to these good, deity-fearing monkeys who are just there to get in a quick 20 minute workout.

Poor bastards.

Of course these idiots are pushing for this because it’s reminding them of a remarkably nasty problem each of them faces every day: they have urges they don’t like. Someone participating in an aerobic workout is, well, working out, and isn’t particularly interested in attracting a leering idiot during the session. They wear what is comfortable for the workout, and they move in a way that is easy on their joints while giving their muscles effective workouts and keeping their heart rates high enough to do some good.

Some of these people are folks you don’t want to see in spandex, but they turn up for these exercises, too. That’s generally okay, though, because there’s usually a hottie or two on the premises too.

These petitioning morons are trying to live pure lives by removing temptation — though I don’t grasp how a person can get more than a momentary bit of titillation from a bouncy girl at a gym or a five-second makeout session on some random TV show. I used to have a gym membership, and I absolutely admired the view women sometimes afforded me. Funny thing, though — I never bothered any of them, never followed one to the women’s locker room to watch her undress, or followed one home to try to get her to do dirty things with me.

If you can’t handle the rated-PG, fully-clothed “living show” that goes on at the average gym, buy your own gym equipment and stay home. It’s not appropriate to punish the rest of us who can take the “stress” of being able to see bouncing boobies and tightening leg & butt muscles doing their thing in an aerobics class.

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