I’m a huge fan of Penn & Teller — I’ve seen their show in Vegas, I’ve watched their movies, and I’ve seen every episode (that I’m aware of, anyway) of their fantastic series Bullshit! They have a remarkable way of taking on scumbags, assholes, con artists, religious bigots, mindless morons, and pushy liberals that makes fun of the lunacy, raises important questions, and makes us all think really hard about some of the things we claim to hold very dearly to our hearts and minds.

Someone recently informed me that I am a “closed-minded scientist.” He told me this because I generally reject outright the notion that “intelligent design” is just as much a “science” as the “theory of evolution” was. I won’t bother relaying the stupid argument than ensued — it was stereotypical “intellect versus redneck” through and through, and I want that hour of my life back now that I think about it

I’m a real fan of asking questions and not just taking things for granted. Intelligent design is one of those things that not only insists on people just taking certain major things on faith, but that requires the outright rejection of evidence and real answers. Fossils? DNA? Carbon dating? “Science?” Fuck you. God did it all. Ahem. Right. You can believe that if you want, but get that shit the fuck away from the science classes my tax dollars are paying for.

One of Penn & Teller’s more recent shows, though, was about the legalization of prostitution. For the record, I think it’s stupid to make illegal what’s perfectly legal to give away (thanks, George Carlin, for giving us that wonderful way of expressing this lunacy). In fact, when you look at how fucking stupid people get sometimes where it comes to just “giving it away,” it’s a wonder we ever outlawed prostitution in the first place. Well, no, it really isn’t — we have religion … that causes lots of problems

During this episode of Bullshit!, Penn & Teller show us a man, in shadow, who is a frequent patron of a prostitute. He used to be a high school teacher (note a couple things here: first, he wasn’t a “customer” while he was teaching; second, even if he had been, this means he was fucking a willing adult instead of a teenage girl from his high school). He lost his wife (either from divorce or death; I’m thinking death but I don’t quite recall, so I offer up both options), but still has his kids.

They protected his identity to protect his children from the potential stigma of being “found out” as a patron of whores. This is sad enough, but one little thing the man said really caught my attention, because it hits close to home. He said that he tried the “online dating services” for awhile and got nowhere with them, and believe me, I can relate.

I’m not incredibly thrilled with the notion of online dating. You’d think that as a geek, I’d be pretty pleased with the idea of using computers and technology to filter out the cruft and just focus on the real winners. The reality of it is quite the opposite: you find liars and cheats online when it comes to finding romance.

It’s worse than casual in-person meetings — they can send you only pictures that flatter, none that show off obvious physical issues (a flabby, bulbous ass; a bulging, blubbery midriff; caked-on makeup; wrinkles; the fact that she outweighs you); they only tell you the pieces they want you to hear (leaving out the part about sleeping with a married man on a regular basis, inviting different men home every week, not being good at her chosen profession, being vindictive and selfish, not using protection, etc.) … and you have no real way of verifying any of it until you’ve invested a good chunk of time and energy into trying to make something work.

I have plenty more to say about one specific data point I have available for this discussion, but that needs to come later; I’m tired and sleepy, and it draws near my bed time.

An Aside

I’ve posted this before (and I know it’s been read, as it’s been complained about — I love that “whooshing” sound sometimes as an idea goes over someone’s head), but it’s worth saying again. If you don’t like what I have to say, go somewhere else. Quit being childish about it — just go back where you came from, and quit bugging me

You are now in Atlanta, Georgia. Please set your clocks back 200 years.