Welcome to My World

[October 8, 2007, Willfe] I have no idea whatsoever why this has become the single most popular article posted to the site here, but it sure as hell has — it’s been here about half as long as the next-most-popular article yet has almost 45% more overall hits. Regardless, woohoo! If these hits are actually because of humans reading the article (and not just a bot crawling the site), feel free to post commentary about it. I’m interested in hearing from others about this topic. Scroll below to find the “Comment” form; tell me what you think!

It astounded me recently to learn that in some states, even when a man can prove that a baby isn’t his, its mother can still, in certain cases, force him to pay child support.

How much must that burn you up to have to write a check to an admitted whore to pay her to take care of a baby that isn’t yours? Let’s be realistic here — if you’re forced by law to pay a woman to care for her baby even when you’ve proven it’s not yours, she’s a whore. There are reasons I say this so confidently. If she can’t pin down who the real father is, it’s either because:

• She doesn’t know who he is (i.e. she’s has unprotected sex with multiple partners)* for sure and is just “choosing” the most “viable” (financially) target
• She knows who it is but can’t (or won’t) admit she knows (i.e. she’s been banging someone who’s married, or she’s been cheating on somebody herself)

* No, I don’t automatically think a woman who has multiple sexual partners is automatically a whore, but if you’re not in a monogamous relationship with somebody and you’re slurping up seed from whoever will make a deposit, you’re not going to win a medal for chastity.

The article I linked above brings signs of hope, that people are working to put this kind of abuse to an end. I firmly agree that if you knock a woman up, you should be held responsible and accountable for the child(ren) that action causes.

But if you know someone isn’t the father but you try to stick it to ‘em anyway, you’re the scumbag.

I don’t have a direct interest in this idea — it’s academic to me, as I’ve sired no children. It has brushed close to home, though, in a couple of ways. First, if things had gone differently when I first moved to Florida (thankfully, they didn’t), I could have been a “contender” in the “who’s the daddy?” contest with the idiot I lived with for awhile. Second, while I’m thoroughly unimpressed with the partners she did sleep with (again, thankfully, we never copulated or had any physical contact … who knows what charming fun she might have “exposed” me to if anything had happened), even they don’t deserve this kind of thing happening to them.

She’s in a similar position though, and I recall her telling me (back when she actually spoke to me) that she “hoped” it was the single father of two who’d hit the bullseye, and not the married father of three she’s been screwing on the side for over a year (including while she was supposedly dating, and being faithful to, the single guy). There have been others paraded around who could well be contenders, too — it was a rare weekend that she spent the night alone (or at least the first half … admittedly I loved watching various men look at me sheepishly when they tried to “sneak out” at 3:00am only to realize I was still awake).

This is an opinion piece, so I’m not going to bother digging up whether Florida is such a state (where you can somehow pin a man down to pay for your baby even if he can prove it isn’t his), but it scares me to realize how this kind of thing could have happened to me. I moved here last year, interested in someone who turned out to be quite sexually “busy.” Again, I don’t actually care about that now, since we never walked that road together, but it does bug me to know she’s the type of person who’d try to pull this on somebody. What if she met some other unsuspecting schmuck around the same time that one of the real potential fathers planted his seed, dated the poor guy for awhile, then dropped him like a rock. What if she could convince a court that it was his baby, just because he seemed like a winner (with lots of money) on that one date … not her type, but well-off and an easy mark?

She’s not the only person I’ve known who would actually pull something that scummy, but she’s the most recent. The opposite happens sometimes, too — you’ll find women who don’t care who the father is, they just want babies. They never bother going after daddy (whether it’s one guy or a bunch, one per kid), because the state and federal governments take care of them well enough. Each new baby is another pile of cash from the Welfare office.

This kind of crap really pisses me off for another reason, though: I’m 28 years old, and I’ve got no kids. I have never had a “scare.” I found out years after the fact (shortly after my marriage ended) that my ex-wife (we were married at the time) had a miscarriage and was about a month into the pregnancy when it happened. I almost was a father. It wouldn’t have been a “scare” then either because I made good money and would easily had enough to support my wife and child — remember, I want kids.

Throughout my life I have been reasonably careful about things. I’ve always had protected sex (unprotected only ever happened with my ex-wife once she was on the pill) and have always been careful. I’ve never played that “ducking” game I’ve seen other guys pull where they vanish for a few months if they think they’ve knocked somebody up.

Before I even consider the possibility of unprotected sex with somebody, there has to be a solid relationship. I have to be able to look past the notion of scoring some uncensored, unsheathed goodness from a willing, naked woman, and think: “will I be happy in nine months if this woman gives birth to my child? Would I want to raise a baby with her? Will she make a good mother?”

If I can’t instantly and automatically say “yes, I would love to have my kids with her and she would be a kick ass mother,” bring on the condom. I have actually said “no” to a woman before because we had no protection and the prospect of kids with her was unpleasant (I was also sixteen years old). Yes, a sixteen-year-old virgin said no to a woman laying on top of him, naked, eager to push together the pieces that had been lined up and made ready, because he didn’t have protection available. Scary, eh?

It just bugs me that this crap goes on — a single irresponsible or selfish act (unprotected sex) leads to more selfishness (women sucking the wrong men dry for instance), all at the expense of the children the world didn’t want in the first place. Meanwhile, I want kids, and I want a loving wife to have and raise them with, to care for and to love, and all I meet are screwballs like the one that lured me to Florida. She’s a single mother, too, who will undoubtedly teach her child how to manipulate and take advantage of people, instead of the more important lessons like “how to protect yourself and be a good person.”

That gets to have kids, and give its poison to its offspring. Sigh.

pray, n: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
— Ambrose Bierce

I think I might have used that quote before, but it’s such a good one

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