Welcome to My World

I hadn’t actually heard of Vanessa Hudgens (that’s a totally Not-Safe-For-Work link, by the way; bigger version and more pics here) until our stupid fucking media machine went apeshit about the supposed scandal that her appearance in a single nekkid photograph has caused the world.

This is beyond stupid. Sure, she’s cute. But she’s “just another naked woman” to me (and to the rest of the world). That Disney is so bent out of shape over the appearance of these photos (again, supposedly taken in private to be kept in confidence, yet mysteriously linked to the whole damned world — how can anyone famous still do this shit and expect it to stay private?) is laughable.

I’m certain this would have boosted their show’s ratings if they hadn’t fired her, and now that they have, her career can really take off (seriously — yes, the porn industry is an option to her, but no more so than it was; I really mean legitimate movies and television now … her name’s on the map and in people’s minds, so anything she touches is likely to turn to gold). Frankly she’s better off without Disney anyway (I’m sure she’s got plenty of cash from her work with ‘em).

There are two more important issues to be discussed here, though.

First, why the fuck does this even matter? Why should it matter to anyone whatsoever that this girl let somebody take a nude photograph of her? Are we actually supposed to be shocked that she’s anatomically correct? What a shocker — she’s got boobs and a slot in the right place! Is anyone actually claiming this makes her a less-than-ideal role model for the demographic that watches the shows she stars in? Okay, fine, but are any of those same people refusing to let their kids buy Britney Spears newest crap? Did they rail against the Spice Girls when two (I think) of five of those skanks suddenly turned up nekkid? Is it really a good idea to refuse to buy someone’s products (or watch their shows/movies) just because you’ve seen their damned nipples and pubic hair?

One idiot quoted in the article had this to say about the “scandal:”

“She’s damaged,” Renee Rollins-Greenberg, a Los Angeles mother of two, told Reuters. “She’s got this teeny-bop audience, young pre-teens and younger, who are admiring her and thinking she’s this wonderful, pure innocent person. Eighteen is awfully young for this kind of display.”

She’s “damaged?” For showing her tits? For being proud of her body? (Honestly, how rare is that these days with the confusing mixed messages media sends women about how their bodies should look?) How is eighteen “awfully young for this kind of display?” Last time I checked, eighteen is legal, you dipshit! Finally, who did the work in convincing the world “she’s this wonderful, pure innocent person?” Are you and your crotch fruit honestly stupid enough to believe that the actress playing that innocent/sweet/pure character on a TV show is actually just that pure and chaste in real life? Do you even understand what television is?!?!

Heh, and of course, I think Renee’s in for a shocker. If her kids aren’t already fucking, they will be soon anyway. If they’re girls, they’ll be knocked up before the year is out (you know if she’s this twisted up about a nude photograph of a teen idol, she’s got to be preaching “abstinence, you little whores! Don’t you dare do the most physically pleasurable thing you can ever do! Filthy whores!”). If they’re boys, they’ll have their seed firmly planted all across town before too long.

The second big issue in this “story” — why is the news media reporting on this? This sort of crap is supposed to be relegated to the dark corners of the internet, where the stupid “celebrity oops!” pictures and low-quality rips of movies featuring nude scenes get circulated. If nobody has given a shit about this except the usual staple of horny teenagers, this girl would still have a job and we might not have missed a more important news story. We’ll never know, though; despite all the problems in the world, at least the injustice of Vanessa’s bared breasts won’t go unnoticed!

Bleh. I think more of these prudes need to get laid, so they’ll quit freaking every time they see a fucking nipple. Either they’d get over it, or seeing a nipple in real life would kill them; solves the problem either way.