Yes, men do make more mistakes in bed than women do (for the most part), but there’s still some bad advice out there. Yes, this is the male counterpart of the “50 Mistakes Women Make…” article. Many of the entries in this article are actually right, though, so I’m just going to highlight the ones I disagree with this time.

5 - Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

This is one of many things that is completely a matter of taste (for her and for him). It might be annoying to her for a guy to latch on and suckle, but it may also seriously turn her on. She might also be entirely indifferent to it (i.e. neither likes nor hates it), which means she’ll let you do it even if it’s not her favorite thing.

6 - Biting on her earlobe because you think it’s sexy

Again, not an absolute rule. Maybe she loves it. Maybe she hates it. Try with a lick first to see what happens (let her do it to you, too). If nothing cool happens, don’t bother with it anymore. However, if you both melt into quivering blobs who can only say “I must have you now!” you’re probably onto something good

7 - Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor. If you’re over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you’re obviously under sixteen.

Bullocks. If you’re a grown adult who can’t cope with having a hickey (or seeing someone with a hickey), you need to crawl back to junior high.

8 - Not shaving before sex

Courteous, yes, but not a showstopper. Trust me, guys — if you’re down there pleasuring her with your mouth, she’s not paying attention to a bit of stubble on your cheeks (if it’s there). If she is, you can reposition yourself to keep your cheeks away from her skin. Easily avoidable.

9 - Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

I’ve never required any mate to shower herself off before sex. And unless she’s been using her “bits” with someone else recently, it’s very doubtful any scent she produces from there will be offensive.

It’s not surgery, folks — it’s sex. Doesn’t need to be antiseptic.

12 - Dropping the condom on the floor

Tacky, maybe. Showstopping? Nah. If she’s still basking in the afterglow of a great series of orgasms, she doesn’t give one rat’s ass where you put the damned thing when you peel it off yourself.

15 - Undressing her clumsily

Believe it or not, guys, they sometimes think this is really, really cute.

16 - Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

If your socks are still on because she just had to tear your pants and underwear off in a hurry to get where she wanted, you so don’t need to worry about your socks.

22 - Coming before she’s got excited or begun to enjoy sex

Okay, I lied — I’m putting this here and I agree with it completely. I just wanted to brag that I don’t have this problem  Hehehe.

34 - Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

This one’s a death trap anyway. If you’re hearing this question during sex, something’s tragically wrong and urgent, immediate attention to your relationship is required if you want to salvage it.

Any answer except “she sucked, you are so much better” is going to immediately end the romp anyway, and just the fact that you were asked means there’s danger ahead.

38 - Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Nah. If you’re both up for it, do it. The trick? Make sure both partners have copies. Gets rid of that whole “the one who has the pictures/tape has the power” problem.

Not bad; the rest of those pieces of advice ring quite true. I particularly liked seeing the reminder that you shouldn’t put on random porn while you’re having sex with your partner. I have to say that has to be the single meanest thing you can possibly do to your mate: “You can’t get me off by yourself, so I’m going to watch these random people screwing while I work with what you offer.”

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a “realist,” he
is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.
— Sydney Harris