
Florida has been the butt of many, many jokes in various circles for a long time. It handed George W. Bush a rigged election. It’s a favorite “incubation chamber” for retirees. Its education system has largely been a joke.
Having said all that, the Florida Board of Education just made the single best decision it has made in recent years (honestly — I’m not being sarcastic there). The funny part is, they did it entirely by accident.
This perspective on the recent vote to update the science curriculum in Florida’s public schools just makes me laugh really, really hard. On one hand, supporters of evolution (i.e. “normal people”) are annoyed that “evolution,” which was not even mentioned by name in previous curriculum standards in the state (what … the … fuck?!?!), must now be referred to as the “scientific theory of evolution.” This was a nod to the “other side” of this stupid debate (i.e. the “religious fucking loonies”) so the board could actually revise the aging standards before we produced another generation of idiots with the broken science curriculum.
What makes me chuckle hardest (and what makes this a massive victory for the “normal people” team) is that in addition to that forced title for the “scientific theory of evolution,” the curriculum must include a clear, concise explanation of what the term “scientific theory” actually means. This is a sticking point that many creationist idiots screw themselves up with: a “scientific theory” is not the same kind of “theory” we laymen have. I can say something stupid like “Earth is a flat disc carried on the shoulders of four drunken turtles,” and call it a theory. Discworld fans will chuckle, and everyone else will call me a fucking moron.
A scientific theory is much different. My example above is what science calls a “hypothesis.” It’s an idea that hasn’t been tested, but one that can be tested. It’s not proven, and it’s not supported by any facts yet. It’s an early step in the scientific method. To become a scientific theory, my dumb little “flat world” idea would have to be supported by some testable facts. Because it can’t, it’s a flawed hypothesis, and is one that science rejects.
There is a shitload of evidence supporting the “theory of evolution,” which is precisely why it is called a “theory,” not a “hypothesis.” The creationism version of things, ironically called “intelligent design,” is a hypothesis, and is also one that science rejects. You simply cannot test, in any empirical way, that “god did it.” You just have to take it on faith, and “I believe that’s true!” just doesn’t hold much sway in scientific circles. You actually have to show your work there. It’s a real pisser, I know, but there you have it.
Good job, creationists — you just shot yourselves in the foot with this one. Please, by all means, keep it up!
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